Reparenting Yourself and why it's Important


Last blog "Satiating the Need for Emotional Connection" we discussed if you've noticed that there's something blocking you from having meaningful relationships. I invite you to take a step inward . 

You can experience the relief that comes from  working through the stuck points holding you back from engaging in meaningful relationships. 

Regardless of age, we all have an inner child. A younger version of self. A part that holds the past experiences alive and affects your day-to-day interactions. If you had your needs met as a child and knew your worth, you may have an easier time identifying, requesting and trusting in relationships. 

However, if you're having a hard time getting clear on your needs and worry about trusting others, you may have learned that your needs weren't important or you may have been shut down for a number of reasons. Regardless of why, you now have the opportunity to learn care for yourself and develop better relationships!

"Re-Parenting" younger parts of yourself means showing relentless care by  the way you talk to yourself, about yourself and the choices you make. Here are some ways to do just that:

  • Tune in to your gut. Check in on when something feels off, and go with that. 
  • Practice empathy and acceptance of yourself. 
  • Learn to contain big emotions and engage in mindfulness practices so you can self sooth and not rely on others to do this for you.
  • Validate and embrace all feelings, there no such thing as "silly emotions". 
  • Set clear, healthy boundaries with others, and know your limits.
  • Create consistency in your daily schedule. 
  • Make time for self care on a daily basis. 
  • Accept your flaws and practice forgiveness when you make mistakes (we all do!)

Now if your relationships feel unfulfilling, take a moment to notice if you are playing out a fear of intimacy.  

  • Do you stay in a stance of disconnect out of fear of being hurt?
  • Do you worry about hurting others who you love?
  • Are you afraid you will lose yourself if you get too close or give of yourself?
  • Are you afraid of rejection and end relationships prematurely so at least you're in control?

Take a moment to notice the pattens and the reason beneath it so you can begin working on the underlying components at play.  If you're in a dance that isn't working for you, you may have old fears or beliefs weighing you down.  As an adult, it's time to redefine who you are, it's time to clear on what you want to be and what you want your relationships to look and feel like. 

Change starts with you deciding and defining who you are.  

  • Identify three of your core strengths and wear 'em with confidence!
  • Care for your mind, body and spirit by healthy choices and daily practices.
  • Choose to spend time with others who respect you.
  • Connect with others from a place of authenticity and honesty. 

If you're still not feeling alright, I want you to notice if you have old fears that you're playing out. Check if your holding onto shame, anger frustration or guilt from that may not be yours to hold. These are all blockages to having balance in your life and subsequently, in your relationships as well.   If you're thinking; "no one will ever pull through" "I'm not good enough/deserving of care", "I knew I'd be alone forever", "I'll be abandoned" or "bad things always happen to me", there may be some healing that can help you. 

As humans, we unconsciously play out stories when theres a need to heal a part of ourselves.  Therapy can help you identify the knots you keep tripping on so you can let go of old beliefs, and script a new story for your relationship life. 

Strengthening the relationships with yourself begins the process of deeper connections with self and  others. 


Esther Goldstein1 Comment