A Goal Without A Plan Is Just A Wish - Holiday Series Part 8
PART 8 OF HOLIDAY SERIES:
A GOAL WITHOUT A PLAN, IS JUST A WISH
The best way to get through this time of year, and any time of year is to PLAN AHEAD! The difference between successful change, and making a wish - is planning.
Put your thinking hat on... dig deep into your skills... and get yourself prepped.
Strategize a good, balanced, self-care schedule.
Try to predict the unpredictable.
Choose an easier menu, freeze in advance, (or better yet, do a potluck)!
Know your WHY so you can prioritize and try not to sweat the small stuff (as much).
Decide what your wins will look like.
Create some structure or a schedule, and note what is flexible and not flexible.
When we make a plan, we just might get through the holiday season with less emotional exhaustion and a rejuvenated spirit!
PLAN TO FAIL
Benjamin Franklin was credited with the saying
“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.”
But is that really such a realistic thing to say? Many people plan extensively and fail.
If we really think about how things generally play out in our lives and start to recognize patterns, we can prepare to an extent.
Sir Winston Churchill was known to have said,
“Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.” Now we are getting somewhere…
Ever heard the phrase ”best-laid plans”? It’s an adaptation of an old Scottish proverb, referring to something that doesn't turn out as planned. It generally carries with it the connotation that we should plan to fail. It sounds more realistic, no? But is that really how we should approach life? Expecting to fail?
Well, yes and no.
Thomas A. Edison once said:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Challenges can be approached in different ways, with different mindsets. Again, it’s about balance. If you don’t try at all, you are pretty much guaranteed to fail.
A Mindset Shift
…How do we best plan for failure?
Do you remember what it was like taking your first steps?
Most people don’t. An act as simple as walking, which we take for granted, probably seemed like an unattainable goal when you were a baby. Yet, we not only push our children to walk, we cheer when they fall - in order to encourage them to try again. Even if they fall down hundreds of times, we know that it will eventually become second nature. Your child will move on to new and more challenging feats.
As adults we know that failure is inevitable….but we keep going!
Does that mean we don’t try? Absolutely not. We must continue to make plans. We must try. And we must learn to be ok when things don’t turn out as we planned.
Part of growing into being a resilient and growth oriented person is by expecting ups and downs, and knowing that this is part of living.
In the Disney movie “Meet the Robinsons”, 12-year-old orphan Lewis ends up traveling to the future with his future son (who he doesn’t know is his son) to his future home (which he doesn't know is his home). His future family is loving and caring, and exactly the type of family he had hoped to be adopted by. They embraced failure to such an extent, that they threw failure parties - because each failure was part of a bigger picture to a future success.
The phrase that kept coming up throughout the movie was “Keep moving forward”.
Sometimes we can easily do that, and sometimes we can’t. It really depends on how full our “self-care tank” is. But the bottom line is, don’t let the fear of failure prevent you from trying to make a better life for yourself.
Just because something has always been a certain way, it doesn’t mean it has to continue being that way.
When we embrace a growth mindset, we recognize that sometimes we can do better. And sometimes we can’t. It’s all about balance, and acceptance of being human, vulnerable, and perfectly imperfect.
So dear reader, I invite you to take a step towards a small change. It starts with you.
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And if you think I’m sugar coating the process, let me say this…
I know how scary it can be to be open to trying something new, or to know that failure is part of the process towards success!
It can be downright terrifying and cause us to freeze and feel unable to move forward! At the same time, when we help our minds expand, and know that new horizons come with a stretching of our minds, and a bit of risk, we may be able to breath, a bit better.
And the good news? When you try something and it doesnt work, you’ve got rich information! This lets you konw it’s time to pivot, or shift,or try something new! And when you keep getting clearer and keep being consistent, there are bound to be changes and better results.
As a fellow human being, I’ve felt it.
I’ve felt the desire to give up on a project or a goal, when I hit disappointment. And I’ve also taken time to remind myself they “why” behind my goals (better relationships, less stress, a sense of meaning…) , which has helped me (and still helps me), keep going. At times, I’ve reached out to support when I couldn’t go it alone, which was the wisest thing to do.
So, take some time to look at what you need, to be able to embrace the “rumble tumble" of life, and of ups and downs as you navigate the road to your goals getting done!
You can do this! I am here cheering you on!
Now, if you’re needing some one on one support, reach out here! We are here for you. Our skilled therapists are trained in many different methods to help you come up with small steps, and map out a plan for healthier living. Sometimes, we have blockages that come in the way of us reaching goals, or we are navigating some real stressors or relationship struggles.
And when that is the case, getting skillful support and engaging in healing can be a great way to move forward and create a more meaningful life.
We offer Talk Therapy, Expressive Arts and other somatic focused therapy to help you!
At Integrative Psychotherapy we help clients create reachable goals, so they can live a richer life!
Our staff also use other scientific based methods such as EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Internal Family Systems/ Parts work and More. Reach out today for your free 15 minute consultation to see how we can help you feel better.
SCHEDULE MY FREE 15 MIN CONSULTATION
And, get yourself some of our FREE downloadable worksheets and downloads to deepen your connection with yourself and engage in some mindfulness activities..and more. Click here for access to FREE content made with you in mind!
Until next time,
Xx
Esther and the Integrative Team