The Two Secrets for Fulfilling Relationships

How to become Emotionally Available & Find Fulfillment in Relationships

Relationship Therapy In New York & Long Island

You are sitting on your sofa, feeling like hitting your head against a wall. You’re wondering why, in the entire New York City, you haven't found the right book to help you find love. Or, you’re trying to figure out the riddle to why you are feeling unfulfilled in your current relationship. I've got some wisdom to alleviate your worries and to guide you to relief and to relationship fulfillment.

You’ve been googling…

“How to find fulfillment in love”

“How to attract an emotionally available partner in New York”

“How to be an emotionally available partner”

“How to feel more fulfilled in my relationships”.

You know there’s got to be some tools and tips and you’re on the right page. Keep reading for more.

As a trauma specialist and relationship expert with close to 15 years in the field, here’s what I’ve seen in my clinical practice, and what research reflects.

Here’s what it comes down to:  getting out of fight or flight. 

When we are in survival mode, fight or flight, we have much less access to choices, to reflection & to emotional energy needed to connect wisely.

Ok, so how do you get out of fight or flight and deepen your relationship skills?

Here are 2 pointers to reflect on.

Ask yourself these 2 questions:

1. Who in your life makes you feel welcomed, desired and loved? 

When we are in survival mode, we may choose people who don’t bring out the best in us. {And survival mode doesn’t bring out the best in us, either.}

And, those relationships often keep us in the survival loop. It’s like grasping onto a life jacket  if you feel like you’re in the middle of an ocean. And what you really need, is a paddle boat or a ship ,to bring you to safety. And, to dry stable land.

If you’ve not had experiences of being welcomed, loved & supported in relationships, it can be hard to let go of unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships, as you may not trust you can have more.

But fact is - you can. It may take some work to fully trust it. You can do the inner work to be able to feel it.  

2. Do you know how to identify when you are in fight/flight?

Knowing when you’re triggered is a vital tool for relationships. This way you can know how to take space, refocus or use a calming tool to help you get back to feeling balanced. Otherwise, if you are triggered & don’t know that you’re triggered, and don’t regulate [ calm down ] you may bleed that anxiety, fear or anger on to your relationship, causing distress to the relationship. 

This applies to all relationships, love relationships, parenting, friendships and workplace relationships as well. 

These two skills helps you become more emotionally available.

Those who have the most meaningful and fulfilling relationships embody both of the above skills.

 They choose relationships wisely [ based on what they need versus desperation] And, they regulate when feeling emotionally flooded or shut down - so they don’t contaminate the relationships with their dysregulation. They can manage the ups and downs with the needed flexibility all relationships need.
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Now, these may seem like simple skills, but the work to become emotionally available is a daily choice.

And sometimes, it takes uncovering unconscious pattens or behaviors that come in the way of you showing up in the way you’d like to show up.

Live in New York and want one on one support to become more emotionally available?

At Integrative Psychotherapy, we are here for you! Reach out to one of our relationship therapists in New York and Long Island, here for you.

Make a choice to have more fulfilling relationships, today.

You can stop being emotionally unavailable , or, stop being drawn to those who are emotionally unavailable, (yes we attract that if we are unavailable, on some unconscious level).

Somatic Therapy New York to help you become Emotionally Available.

Our therapists are trained in a number of methods to help you make changes - internally and externally.

At our practice, we offer EMDR therapy, Somatic therapy, Attachment-Informed methods, Cognitive therapy, Internal Family Systems/Parts work and Expressive methods to help you experience relief.

Schedule your free 15 minute consultation by clicking here- to help you begin healing today!

And if you’re looking for a FREE somatic download, grab a FELT SENSE Somatic Download here.

And, if you want some Easy-to-use Somatic Therapy Exercises, click here for our blog “ 6 step somatic exercise to process triggers”.

Cheering you on, on your journey to love, emotional availability and fulfilling relationships. The work is so worth the reward.

Until next time,

Esther & The Integrative Team