When you are in a relationship with unhealthy dynamics (let’s say someone is gaslighting you), if you slow down and listen carefully, you will notice familiar sensations inside your body. These sensations will have descriptive qualities to them. Usually you won’t attach a cognitive memory to that feeling right away but you recognize that the “felt sense” of your experience is not new. You have felt it before in another time and another place. Your body is trying to tell you something. It perceives a threat to your safety. It is trying to remind you of ways that have helped you stay safe in the past. What you are feeling is called a somatic “felt sense.”
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Today gaslighting has become the en-vogue term used as a substitute for abuse, temper tantrums, being a jerk or bullying… but they are not the same as gaslighting. What makes gaslighting different? Misuse and overuse of the word “gaslighting” only threatens to add to the discomfort and confusion about this very disorienting yet common form of manipulation. In this blog we will begin to unpack the most frequently asked questions about gaslighting.
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Most people are familiar both with gaslighting and being gaslit in some way, but not everyone notices signs of it in their relationship until irreparable damage has been caused. Join me in this fictitious, yet revealing story about my client Jenny and her relationship experiences with Jhonny as she peels away the layers to find a slow and steady “gas leak” that had been keeping her feeling “off”, fuzzy, disoriented, sluggish and lonely for quite some time.
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