Predict the Unpredictable: 6 Ways to Get Ahead of Your Mental Health During the Holiday Season

I know what you are going to say… you can’t predict the unpredictable. OK, you are right. But you can create contingency plans and be as prepared as possible. So join me in this planning =)

Think of the holiday season as a perfect storm for mental health challenges... 

Maybe you are experiencing;

• An unpredictable schedule

• Work burnout

• Money problems (perhaps gift expectations are way more than you can afford)

• Loneliness (people can be lonely even when there are people around)

• Overwhelm by the amount of people around you (too much family togetherness)

• Stifling obligations

• Annual “winter blues”, blahs or undiagnosed seasonal depression

• Cabin fever

• Grieving a Loss

• Boundary issues

• Inferiority complex (spurred by Instagram and unrealistic expectations)

• Peer pressure to spend money you don’t have on luxury vacations

• Anxious about the future

• Frustrated that another year has passed and you have not achieved your goals

We live in our bodies, and must remain attuned to their natural internal tendencies and the tendencies of those around us. 

During certain times of the year, we are more prone to “curve-balls” that can easily throw off our equilibrium and impact our mental health.

Like preparing for an earthquake, storm or any other potential disaster, there is a formula in place to help! 

Keep in mind the 6 P’s as you prep for another potentially stormy season.

The 6 P’s

Check out our one-page cheat sheet for this in our newest holiday download.

1. PREPARE

   Prepare for the things you KNOW will likely wrong and brainstorm ways to pre-empt them. If you think back to all the years of your life, you can probably notice that there are certain struggles that are best facing instead of ignoring them. Empower yourself by getting ahead of the seasonal anxiety triggers and prepare as best as you can for the yucky, uncomfy or difficult moments (while staying as optimistic as you can).
   

2. PREDICT

   Predict the small or big things could go wrong, even with all the preparations. Like, you know that as soon as grandma sees your child acting stubborn, she will make a comment about your parenting. You know that you will feel unappreciated when you have sweated over a hot stove and broken the bank to entertain your family with picky taste buds. Tone down your prep by making easy things that you know everyone will like (maybe dress hot dogs in puff pastry shaped like a Christmas tree or a dreidel and ditch the standing rib roast and turkey. Do fresh pre-cut veggies and dip instead of making 10 salads that nobody eats.) Whatever are your common triggers, try to predict them and change things up a bit.
   

3. PLAN

   Plan ahead by discussing your anxieties with a loved one, your partner or in therapy. This way you will have all the previous steps resolved in advance and you can plan some ways to interact with the challenging people without any added stress.
   

4. PROTECT

   Protect yourself from the inevitable blunders and boo-boos. Maybe do some role-play with your therapist and actually plan out a script that will help protect your feelings. Together you can prepare short and direct answers or responses that will prevent your triggers from mushrooming into something big. Scripting answers to comments that are out of bounds can be so helpful. Like “Grandma, I am doing my very best. Please respect that. I would be happy to talk about something else if you want but I can’t continue with this particular conversation...” You don’t need to be harsh or too direct, but if things get a bit more heated, you can say “ I am the one parenting my child(ren), and these are my choices to make. Please keep anything less-than-kind to yourself. I want to have a nice time together with the family- I’d love it if we could both find a way to do that.”
   

5. PROACTIVE

   Proactive: While you can’t ALWAYS prepare for every disaster, and predict everything that will go wrong, you know your players. Trust yourself. If you know that specific friends or family will be too much for you this year given your personal circumstances, you can change it up a bit. Try some anxiety relief skills or book extra therapy appointments before and after events that you are sure will stress you out. Try to let go of feeling bad if you have to cut down the family time to a bare minimum this year. Life happens. Any healthy individual will respect that your life is hectic, that you are doing the best you can with the tools you were given and they will respect that you have different needs this year. 
   

6. PARDON

   Pardon: Pretty please forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for unmet goals and frustrated expectations. Allow yourself to let go of the standards that have been keeping you stressed out and find a way to shift. This sort of pardoning is not innate for everyone. If you find that your burdens are still so heavy even after you have taken all the prevention measures above, please go and ask for help. The ability to forgive yourself and accept what you cannot change is critical to your mental health.
   
   We at Integrative Psychotherapy are here for you.

   Let us help you get ready to face the heavy winds and storms of the holiday season armed with lots of strategies.

Check out our one-page cheat sheet for this in our newest holiday download.

Sending you warm gentle holiday wishes,

XX

Esther and the Integrative Team