The Anatomy of a Miracle | Trauma Therapy
Trauma Therapy in New York and Long Island
When you think of the word miracle you probably think of something magical.
Miraculous. Godly. Astounding.
And it's true, miracles are often the making of some supernatural force that comes in and makes something happen. A force that defies nature. A creation of something that is not fathomable for the human mind.
A paralyzed person suddenly being able to walk again.
A blind person regaining eyesight.
The Hannuka story of one flask of oil lasting 8 nights- instead of 1.
These are the things that stop us in our tracks.
The word miracle comes from the Greek "thaumasion" and the Latin "miraculum" which means causing wonder and astonishment, being inexplicable by normal standards.
Waiting on a Miracle
I often wonder about the supernatural aspects of miracles, the concept of having good "luck" and things working out well. I can dive into a spiritual or philosophical conversation here, but I'll keep that for another time.
For now, I want to focus on the powers that we have within us. You may roll your eyes, because you may be wanting a miracle and were hopeful I'd share some secret recipe to your heart's desire and dreams coming true. I wish I had that. If I did (or when I do) I'd share it in a heartbeat.
I don't have the magic potion, but I do have something within your reach.
When the magic potion is looking at you.
I was talking to a friend, named Chloe* (not her real name) a few months ago. She had just gone through a rough fight with her then, boyfriend, and was going from friend to friend asking for advice and input. When she came to me and told me what was weighing on her heart, I listened, intently. As she spoke, and shed her tears, I can see her pain and desperation to get relief. To get an answer. To feel better.
When it was my turn to reply to her, I got up and told her I'd be right back. I came back to the room with a large mirror.
“Chloe, please look at the wisest woman in the room." I said as I held up a mirror to her face.
At first she thought I was kidding, but when I encouraged her to sit with herself, and look at the woman in the mirror, she began to calm down. I walked her through some questions to ask herself, and I helped her make sense of her emotions (the perks of having a therapist as a friend).
At the end of the conversation, she felt clearer than she'd felt in a while.
A couple of months passed....
I hadn't seen Chloe in a while, but I did remember that I felt proud of her for wanting better in her life. She was in pain and was open and brave enough to try something different. When she shared about her pain, I was supportive, but I also knew she needed an expert in her corner, to support her in taking the right next steps. I gave her some names to connect with, if she chose to be open to trying counseling.
This Weekend | A Miracle in the Making
This weekend I bumped into *Chloe. I knew she was going to be at a good friends' house and I was excited to see her and catch up. I don't see her often, out of sheer scheduling limits - we both have busy lives, but when we see each other, we connect easily.
Chloe had changed.
After speaking with her for 10 minutes, I knew what it was. She was healthier.
Her eye gaze was steady, she was present, and by the way she interacted with the noise in the room, I could tell she was more ok than last time I saw her.
—-
As Chloe filled me in, she shared that she decided to leave her boyfriend, shortly after I had seen her.
But, after she left, though she thought she’d feel better she didn’t. She felt worse. Because she realized that, thought the boyfriend wasn’t for her, he wasn’t the core issue.
She had issues that pre-dated him.
She remembered me saying how sometimes we have own own issues to resolve, regardless of our situations, or relationships, and how good it can be to do some inner work. I had given her some names and she pulled up one of the names I strongly suggested.
As she filled me in, I remembered how she shared that she had strong body flashbacks (which means strong feels in the body that bring you back to feeling of danger, fear, panic or some other strong body-based experience). She also said she had emotions that would consume her. I had hoped she would reach out to a somatic informed trauma therapist I suggested, and she did. As we spoke, she shared that she's been in EMDR and somatic therapy for the last 5 months- and has been making real progress.
My heart felt so happy knowing that she was giving herself a gift of healing.
It's so exciting to see people giving themselves the kind of work they need - and seeing how the right kind of therapy work really makes a difference!
It was written all over her body
She didn't need to tell me how she was doing - it was written all over her body.
She seemed calm.
She wasn't on-edge like she had been 7 months prior. I recall small things getting to her, and sensing how unsteady she felt. Watching the way she was talking to me, how she kept her eye gaze with me as she spoke, and sensing how present she was, really told me everything.
As a trauma therapist, I think about the goals for clients when they walk into my office, I sit with the suffering and pain, and I already envision a plan for their relief. This is how we help you heal. We hear your pain and slowly carve out a treatment plan that will get you feeling better. Less agitated, more energized, less sad, or whatever it is.
Good trauma therapy is pretty close to a miracle
If you're one of those people who is doing some inner work or are engaging in therapy or some form of self development.....I will be sitting here praying for you to get all the miracles in the world, because hey, I imagine if you're reading this, you're working hard at your life.
You value your health, your loved ones and your quality of life.
You want more for yourself. And you can get it.
While we make space for the miracles in the world, I want you to think about one thing you can do for yourself this evening. It can be something small or something big. Do the one thing that will improve your life, your mood or your relationship.
Darling, Look in the mirror.
If you need help, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what you need most. Now pause and reflect. It may be a word, a feeling, a choice or a sensation that comes up. Anything that surfaces is information for you. Reflect on it. ee if you can take something meaningful from what you notie.
Now, this can be useful to do alone. For some, clarity comes. A moment of inspiration. A urge to make a shift. Let go. Be a little different.
And for some, some guidance is needed. We all need a little hand holding or support sometimes.
So, if you are needing some help from a licensed professional, we are here for you.
Counseling for Anxiety and Trauma Therapy in NYC and Long Island.
We offer EMDR therapy, talk therapy, Expressive Arts, and Somatic Therapy for children, teens and adults.
Wherever you are, please be gentle with yourself and know that change and healing begins with one step.
Book your FREE 15 minute consultation today!
You can take a part in the miracle of your life. It starts with one step. Sending you warm wishes from our offices here in Long Island,
Until next time,
Xx Esther & the Integrative Team