6 Tips to Guide your Grief & Anxiety Healing
Read the blog on grief and anxiety and are seeking some self-help tips to help you days feel a bit lighter?
If you’re going through some griefs and don’t perfectly fit into any of the five phases of grief, you’re welcome here. The 5 phases are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified these in her book Death and Dying, but she also acknowledged that grieving isn’t linear.
Grieving can feel messy and all-over-the-place. And, even with the messiness and individuality of your healing, you can take steps to make today a little bit more ok.
6 Tips to Move Through Grief
Unshakable Self Care.
You are probably tempted to disconnect and just keep going about your daily routine (or lack of routine). Getting through grief is about moving through it, not getting swept away by sorrow. Create a steady frame of self care so you can feel the “feels” without going down the stream of endless sadness. Make sure you are eating well, sleeping properly and are getting extra rest. Trauma, loss and grief are better processed when you are nurturing your body and offering extra care. Exercise, journal, get adequate sunshine, surround yourself with good people and drink nourishing fluids such as fresh pressed juices or chamomile tea
2. Invite the feels VS Escape them
Grief, loss and hurts are painful. Scary. Confusing. Upsetting. And that’s why its understandable that many like to avoid or shut down.Trying to ignore the hurt just repositions the pain to pop up somewhere else, making it worse in the long run! They may turn into a drug use issues, anger, irritability, over using alcohol, depression, chronic body aches, neck pain, anxiety or other health problems. Want to heal so you can move forward and through? Feel the “feels”, embrace the hurts and allow the losses to exist. Let yourself experience the sadness, the pain, let your tears, frustration and conflicted feelings express themselves. It’s harder in the short term but offers a healthier mental and emotional space for longer term living.
3. Let your loved ones know
Though society is all about pulling yourself together, pasting a smile on your face and “keeping your issues to yourself', it’s also important to let those close to you know what you’re going through. Be wise in the words you use and which people are safer to be honest with than others; but let others in on your process. A best friend can be there to support you when she knows you’re grieving a loss (recent or even from the past). You can give a broader explanation to others less close, but let them know that you’re not your usual self and you’re being honest and real about it. People around you can be sensitive and respectful to you + your process when you are clear and share that you’re going through some griefs.
4. Go Inward but Don’t Isolate
Grief is a very personal experience. Some feelings or sensations don’t have words and may not even be understood by those who love you dearly. Make sure you’re tuning inward and offering the softness and warmth your soul + heart + spirit are needing. Know what to share with others and when it’s really time to be with your internal process.
At the same time, don’t use this as an excuse to isolate. Even when others may not fully “get it”, you still need the love, compassion and connection from others. We need community and connection to heal. Make sure to spend time around others even if you’re not feeling chirpy and in the mood of socializing. You can even go to a library, the gym or to an art class if you’re not up to talking but want to be surrounded by others. I encourage you, as well, to make time to connect and engage socially as soon as possible. Let those in who can comfort you, sit with you as you cry and bear witness to your pain. There’s a healing component in that.
5. Create space for lifelong healing
Carve healing spaces into your daily and monthly routines. Healing isn’t just a short term focused idea; it’s a lifelong approach.
Grief doesn’t ever fully go away and scars don’t naturally disappear. Of course, as you heal you will slowly shift out of the deep pains and the intensity of grief subsides; however, some hurts will be there for a while and you’ll be best off carving healing into your long term plan.
And sometimes, deeper losses are there forever. Losing a loved one, grieving the love of parents you never had, losing your biggest financial savings or feeling betrayed by a long term love, all of those hurt deeply. Though time will help the intensity, yet know that it’s normal to sometimes feel empty, confused, frightened or upset. Carve space into your life to tend to those hurts. The more you adjust your life and embrace a new reality, the better you’ll move with and through the processes of healing throughout life.
6. Become your own expert healer
No one has been in your exact shoes or in your life. There may be many who tell you “how to heal” and what you “should” be doing to feel better. You can thank others for their care and for sharing their expertise based on their life, but you can gently turn it down. You know if you need to laugh, cry, go out or stay in snuggled up.
You know if you’re up to reconnecting with situations or people that bring up things for you or if it’s premature. You have to develop broad shoulders and become your own expert. By owning your grief, and owning your emotions you’ll be owning your personalized healing. No self Shaming. No judgement, no right or wrong way, but just your way.
Though dealing with loss, grief and hurts is no fun task, when you have knowledge to guide you and steps to lead the way, you’ll be off to a better journey of healing.
If you’re needing more support in healing griefs and hurts, reach out so we can develop a treatment plan to help you today!