How to Strengthen Your Relationship When Issues Bubble to the Surface
How to Strengthen Your Relationship When Issues Bubble to the Surface
The COVID-19 pandemic has created massive shifts in our daily lives. Many couples and families are finding themselves spending much more time together than they ever have!
Like many things, this can be both good and bad. People often struggle with feeling as though they don’t have enough time with those they love. Work and responsibilities can crowd out time for each other.
But being in close quarters with the same person for weeks on end can also present many challenges. Experiencing other significant changes in life at the same time (i.e., loss of social life, loss of daily routine, etc.) can make this even harder.
Understandably, relationship issues will bubble to the surface under such conditions. There are things you can do, though, to strengthen your relationship.
Cuddle
It sounds simple, but sometimes taking thirty minutes together to just sit silently in each other’s arms can work wonders. You don’t need to talk or try to hash out issues.
Sustained physical touch helps your body release oxytocin, a bonding hormone that also helps us relax. Relationship researchers might also recommend gazing into each other’s eyes for several minutes. This easy exercise creates a powerful bonding moment.
Of course, it can be tough to do this after an argument or days of irritating. But give it a try. You might be surprised.
Remember What Brought You Together
When you find yourselves at your last straw with each other, take a big step back. Remember what first brought you together. Think about what attracted you to each other and what you admired about each other. Look at old pictures and recall fun memories. Try to recreate those first feelings of romance. Remember the best things about each other.
Give Each Other Space
Recognizing that each of you will need time to yourselves while in social isolation together is essential. You can’t be cooped up together for long before starting to get on each other’s nerves.
Give each other permission to hole up alone in the bedroom for a few hours or go for long walks and drives alone. Keep in touch with your friends during this time as a social outlet. Don’t be offended when your partner does the same.
Be Patient
Remember that you’re under trying times right now. The stress of being together always can make small issues feel like really large ones. Everyone is undergoing stress from the pandemic. Uncertainty about work, school, finances, and what the new normal will look like is eating at everybody. Try to separate whatever stress the pandemic itself is causing from how you’re feeling toward your partner right now.
Have Fun
The pressures of everything going on right now can make it easy to forget to have fun. Try to put stress on the backburner even for an hour or two just to have fun together. Find funny movies to watch or tell funny stories about your life together. Look for comedians to watch online. Or, look at cat and dog videos.
Laughter is a huge stress reliever and can magically erase a day’s worth of crabbiness. It can draw you back to each other.
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If problems become more prominent than you feel you can handle on your own, reaching out to a couples counselor can make a world of difference. At our practice, our highly skilled clinicians offer a solid base of experience in guiding couples through struggles.
We are glad to be offering tele therapy sessions during the pandemic that can be done in the comfort of your own home. These sessions, though different than the usual in-person route, are proven to be as effective as in-person sessions.
Reach out! We are here for you and would love to talk with you if you’re ready to strengthen your relationship.